Hello everybody!
Sorry for being MIA lately. It's been a really crappy week for me even though now I feel a lot better. As I wrote in a comment on Bodyrock.tv:
"I've been absent for a little less than a week. Some personal stuff really struck me bad this past week and I ended up feeling like crap, eating like crap and not exercising. This is so me and when things go wrong acting like this makes them only worse. I stop caring about myself and it's just all a downward spiral from there. Having recovered not long ago from bulimia does take a lot of strength not to go back to that dark, dark place. In the past these "bad periods" would turn into months or even years. But today, after a few days of not exercising and eating poorly (nothing compared to before tho!) I had a moment of clarity and turned the whole thing around, I started caring about myself like a mother would with her own child. I ate wholesome and nutritious food, cleaned up almost the whole house (it always makes me feel better and more in control) and did one of Z's ass kicking workouts. I feel so good right now.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this with you all, it's so hard to feel vulnerable but I owe it to this wonderful community to be true to you and myself. Life can be a real struggle at times and it's ok to slip every once in a while as long as we get back up and keep going, remembering that no matter how hard life may be we have the choice and power to take control. And God, does it feel good!"
I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this with you all, it's so hard to feel vulnerable but I owe it to this wonderful community to be true to you and myself. Life can be a real struggle at times and it's ok to slip every once in a while as long as we get back up and keep going, remembering that no matter how hard life may be we have the choice and power to take control. And God, does it feel good!"
It really struck me how well I reacted compared to when I was still suffering from my ED. It really shows how much I have grown in the last few months. Nobody is perfect and I do know I will have set backs every now and then, but now I have the tools within me to fight back and it feels so freaking awesome.
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Today it's been very laid back, I worked from home plus I got a lil bit more cleaning done but overall I've just relaxed, I so needed that, and for whatever reason I just kept smiling throughout the whole day... without even trying! How crazy is that? Isn't it nice when that happens?
I guess this lil guy helped me stay positive...
Camera shy dear?
Now I am in my comfy robe enjoying a hot cup of green tea and guess who was waiting for me while I was taking this picture... :D
Yes, I do have a Hello Kitty cup! My ex housemate was pretty much obsessed with Hello Kitty stuff so when I left she gave me this as a gift, isn't she a sweetheart? On the other hand, I am obsessed with mugs, I don't know what it is about them but if it was for me I'd drink out of a different mug every single day.
And for the record Menelao is still on my lap. You can see his grand scheme in action:
1. making sure I am not going to stand up until he is ready to do something else aka dinner time!
2. measuring the distance from the floor to the chair
3. pretending to be still measuring but really just begging to be lifted… he is sooo lazy!
4. purring like truck on my lap! Sorry I missed the picture, he made sure I was focusing on him and him only!
Note: I am not a crazy cat lady... Just crazy! ;P
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Funny thing about green tea, until a few months ago I used to utterly dislike it, for the life of me even though I really wanted to like it, I couldn't stand it at all! And now I drink 1 to 2 mugs per day and love it. I find so fascinating how much taste can adapt. My taste for foods has changed immensely over the course of the past few months. Since ditching sugar and switching to a mainly clean and vegetarian diet (I eat turkey, chicken or tuna only a couple of times per week), I find that my taste buds enjoy the true flavour of natural foods way more than processed ones. Do I like stuff like pizza? Of course I do, but I also love almost every vegetable you can name (I wasn't always like that, I used to be a very picky eater), I enjoy things like candy way less than before, I actually don't eat them anymore. I'd rather have an homemade baked good (coz I know what's in it and it's not as sweet as those store-bought ones). And all this coming from someone that used to put 2 packets of sugar in her cappuccino and now I genuinely like it plain (and with no foam :P, I know, I am one fussy costumer!). It’s all about starting slow. My taste didn’t change overnight, it did over the course of days, week, months but I learned to appreciate the process.
Wow, this is some ramble! I apologise ;) I guess my thoughts were pretty much all over the place... I wanted to talk about something totally different but I went with the flow today :P
The brain works in mysterious ways haha.
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I see another ass kicking workout in my near future and maybe some yoga too, we’ll see. Go with the flow, right?
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Do you find yourself rambling a lot? If you have made changes in the way you eat, did you find them affecting your taste for foods? And last but certainly not least… are you obsessed with mugs too or am I the only one?
There is no failure unless there is quitting!
- Me (I guess. I don’t know whether I’ve heard it somewhere
but I always say this… see? Rambling again!!!)
Love,
Elisa
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