Good morning everyone!
The holiday season is coming to an end. This is the time of year where people are more likely to stop for a moment and think back about their year, how and wheather they have improved in some area of their life, how it has changed and how they want to improve it some more.
What I found really helpful this year was taking a little bit of this time and focus my attention on the holiday season itself. Yes, that's right, the holiday season. This is when the whole family gets together and no matter how hard we try, it is often very difficult to keep up with our "normal routines". Not so much because we don't find the time to do whatever is that we usually do, but because when family gets together, it's like we unconsciously go back in time to our childhood. Family reunions bring back memories, behaviours and emotions that all come back so strongly and fast, we often feel overwhelmed and powerless to do anything at all. And one of the first things effected by this is the way we eat.
To make it a little bit more clear, this year was very revealing for me. In 2010 I spent months and months battling against my E.D. and overall I did a pretty good job. As far as I can tell, I won't go easily back to how things were. I always try listening to my body's cues when it comes to eating and exercizing, I'm trying to not feel deprived and not overdo it either. All in all, I am very proud of myself for how far I've come this year. I still have a lot to learn but it's a pretty good start!
In spite of all of this, when my family gets together, I feel the urge to eat more, as if being my true self wasn't an option. But this year I started thinking and the more I thought about this, the more it made sense to me. When I'm eating with my family, more times than not we have leftovers and even though I would be perfectly fine leaving them for my next meal, I kind of feel that the "right thing to do" is to finish everything that's left in the pot. They say stuff like: "Come on there is only that left, we have to finish it" or "come on help me finish that". I am 100% sure they all mean well, but the effect that this had on me over the years was everything but good. I felt that unless I was eating the way they wanted me to, I was hurting them.
This year, fortunately, just by taking the time to think about all of these mechanisms I found the strenght I needed to stand up for myself and eating really listening to my body and no one elses. And guess what happened? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! All of the fears I had were just in my head but by not facing them they kept growing for no reason.
In spite of all of this, when my family gets together, I feel the urge to eat more, as if being my true self wasn't an option. But this year I started thinking and the more I thought about this, the more it made sense to me. When I'm eating with my family, more times than not we have leftovers and even though I would be perfectly fine leaving them for my next meal, I kind of feel that the "right thing to do" is to finish everything that's left in the pot. They say stuff like: "Come on there is only that left, we have to finish it" or "come on help me finish that". I am 100% sure they all mean well, but the effect that this had on me over the years was everything but good. I felt that unless I was eating the way they wanted me to, I was hurting them.
This year, fortunately, just by taking the time to think about all of these mechanisms I found the strenght I needed to stand up for myself and eating really listening to my body and no one elses. And guess what happened? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! All of the fears I had were just in my head but by not facing them they kept growing for no reason.
This Christmas was different than any other we ever had. We usually all get together for both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. My family, my cousins, uncles and aunts, family friends.
This year though most of us came down with a pretty nasty flu, and this resulted in everyone staying home for Christmas. So it was only my parents, my brother and I. And I actually quite enjoyed it this way. Don't get me wrong, I love family reunions but this year it was nice to spend it only with my closest family (since we never get to spend that much time together during the rest of the year).
The flu really got me thinking. Weird, right? What I noticed, while I was so sick I couldn't even stand up for more than a few minutes, was how my body and mind where both working as a whole to get better as soon as possible. I didn't even have to think about it, treating my body the best I could came so natural to me. We should always treat our bodies and minds the best we can but unless we are fighting for our life (I get it, this came out a bit melodramatic :P), unless we feel threatened, we struggle treating ourselves the way we should. Isn't it ridiculous?
Getting the flu just around Christmas was one of the best things that could have happened to me. Although being sick was terrible, it got me more in touch with my body and its needs, right when I needed it.
How were your holidays? Do you find that being with your family affects the way you eat? And when you are sick, do you find it easier to listen to your body? Why do you think that is?
How were your holidays? Do you find that being with your family affects the way you eat? And when you are sick, do you find it easier to listen to your body? Why do you think that is?
Love,
Elisa
No comments:
Post a Comment